Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Book 2 (My Opinion, Your Self Is My Self) - Chapter 2, Part 3


When magnets are placed next to each other out of alignment they repel each other. We consider this normal, and there is no surprise. People similar to magnets have a charge, but when they repel this somehow means that “they need to learn to get along”. Perhaps this means they have to learn how not to interact, while allowing the other person the ability and freedom to be themselves. We wouldn’t keep trying to force two magnets together, and we shouldn’t keep trying to force two people together. If we don’t like someone we should just stop interacting with them. If that’s not an option, find something to love about them. Don’t forget that they are impersonating our own opinions. Figure out what is aggravating about them and consider that this may be something we do not like about ourselves, or something that we ourselves do. Perhaps we have to accept that even though we may not like this sort of behavior, it has its place in our personalities. We are who we are by having the behaviors as a part of us, and perhaps the other person is merely reflecting them. Once we realize and accept this we may be surprised to see those around us behaving in a new way. This is because we no longer need them to impersonate the specific opinions that we wanted to observe and choose to no longer interact with. The person may begin to impersonate other opinions, or the interaction may cease completely as there may be nothing else for them to impersonate. They may be the wrong actor to play out the other opinions we have. It’s alright, they’ve done what we needed them to do, we shouldn’t expect them to impersonate something that they may not be able to. Would we want someone who's broke impersonating or reflecting back our financial ideas?

Ever notice that husbands and wives, after years of marriage, look and act like each other? Consider that every individual is a “mirror” for AESA, but we are not exclusive and we also reflect one another. Husbands and wives, or other significant others, are “mirrors” who constantly adjust and entrain themselves to each other, reflecting one another year, after wonderful year, together. The reflections are pleasant to one another to begin with. Make no mistake, opposites do not attract, an intellectual pacifist homebody does not get together with an ignorant crude abuser. Not without some other catalyst forcing the bond. Alcohol has forced many such bonds. So when the reflections are pleasant to begin with, there is nothing to change, nothing to adjust. The reflection of one person gets combined with the reflection of the other person and the two reflections continuously bounce back and forth. The reflections amplify as each partner keeps bringing more and more of themselves into alignment, enjoying the “view” and adding more and more joy to the image being reflected. There is a resonance as the “mirrors” amplify and reflect each other, while becoming more and more alike. This is not limited to “husbands” and “wives”. This is the resonance of any couple or group. Lifelong friends will be alike, domestic partners, business partners, and any people in close proximity for extended periods of time. This is of course providing that they were similar or compatible in the first place. Then again they wouldn't have connected or become “entangled” if there hadn't been an initial similarity. “Show me who your friends are, and I'll show you who you are” could be restated as “show me who your friends are, and I'll show you whom and what they are reflecting”.

As we change and decide what we would like to experience friends and acquaintances may come into and go out of our lives. This may be misunderstood as dislike, indifference, a happy reunion, or a lucky coincidence, but it is simply the attraction of compatible reflections and mirrors. As we change, the people in our lives will be dragged along for the ride. Some may be more in alignment and will be along for more of the journey, while others will disappear. This may appear normal or confusing at the time. Some will move away for work while keeping in touch. Others may suddenly stop calling or responding to calls, making us think it was something we did. Friends we had not heard from for years may suddenly reappear in our lives. “Show me who your friends are...” much like “lead by example” are both examples of what we choose to have reflected. As we choose who we wish to be, and what experience we choose to have, we attract others to reflect our choices back to us. We don't lead anyone anywhere; the other people simply reflect back where it is that we are. With our friends, as with anyone else around us, if we don't like what we're seeing we should change what we are showing. If we don't like the reflection, we should change what we are showing the “mirror”.

To be continued...

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